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Jay's Site.com > Humor > Funny chats
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<smileygirl> you say
<^haploid^> Wow, a subject *and* a verb. You are getting very close to composing complete sentences. I applaud you.
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<[sPaG]> I USED TO LISTEN TO NSYNC WHEN THEY WERE UNDERGROUND
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Tom - "Are you using networking cable to pull the sled?"
Dave - "Yea, it's only 10baseT, but it should be fast enough."
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[cyclochuu] any of u guys ever fuck a watermelon after its been in the microwave
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<DAL9000> i was kicking ass at scrabble
<DAL9000> and got dropped
<DAL9000> i really should spend my time much more constructively than pummeling lonely housewives and unemployed fatguys in scrabble
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<autistk> underneath your clothes there's an endless story?
<autistk> riiiiight
<autistk> I suspect something was lost in the translation
<autistk> or is it about the scene in the neverendingstory when the kid steals the book by hiding it up his sweater?
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<jayo> hey how do haiku's work? is it 5 sylabals the first line, 7 the second, 5 the third?
<R0y2> yeah
<R0y2> when i cum in you
<R0y2> i feel the law is broken
<R0y2> you are twelve years old
<jayo> haha
<R0y2> ^_^
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<daenonok> like four years ago when that 8 year old brought a gun to school and shot a 9 year old, i was still in high school and this dude in my history class who was in my group asked if the kid was black or white
<daenonok> and one of the girls (who took him seriously) asked what it mattered, and he said 'because if he was white he was crazy, but if he was black he was just taking care of business'
<daenonok> she slapped him so fucking loud the halls echoed, i shit you not
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<ironfrost> life sucks
<Majji-woo-woo> so do whores
<Latino|NotIn> but life sucks for free
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<Evilmonkey> I SWEAR TO GOD IT WAS MY MOM NOT MY DAD..
<Evilmonkey> i wouldnt dream about my dad.. im not gay.. er.. shit.
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<Zenith`> he went all "want a nut"
<Zenith`> and he was like "sure"
<Zenith`> and one thing lead to another, and now kort has anal warts
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*** da-guvnor (~tonto@pc2-stoc4-0-cust224.mid.cable.ntl.com) Quit (If girls are made of sugar & spice......why do they taste of fish.)
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<mitd> programmers don't have relationships that take hostages!
<japh> mitd: Yes they do.
<japh> <SO> Either you fuck me, or the dual Athlon MP 2000+ gets it!
<japh> <programmer> Alright! Alright! I'll fuck you. Just don't hurt Daisy!
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<_sdc_-> ok, so yeah. i think i set a new land speed record for killing hard drives.
<_sdc_-> it's fucked, and i have a lot of data to back up.
<_sdc_-> like 80 gigs or so.
<qDotWork> Ever thought about just like, writing everything down on paper?
<qDotWork> It's only 80,000,000,000 or so bytes.
<_sdc_-> yeah, those mp3s will sound great on a nice legal pad.
<qDotWork> Winamp for the mind, man.
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<fraggle> get in trouble?
<Afterglow> fraggle: getting in trouble because you look like elton john, of course
<fraggle> yeah they're always disappointed when they find i cant play candle in the wind
<fraggle> "so.. we measure the voltage across.... wait is that elton john back there? can you play us a song?"
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< cae> you people all suffer from ADD apparently
< krapnggt> i suffer from SUBTRACT.
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(note! i know the last one i sent you guys was just a copy of what you already had but this one is halarious)
<draito5> 35
<35man> yeah?
<draito5> last night i she dumped me
<draito5> SHE DUMPED ME MAN!!
<35man> Who? Claire?!
<draito5> yea
<35man> Hey listen, I'm really sorry about that, how you holding up?
<draito5> not good bro i nearly killed myself
<35man> awww come on, it can't be that bad.
<draito5> no seriously!!! i was sitting in the bathroom and i
took my razorblade and i was just shaving when i thought, whats the use
and then i seriously started thinking about it
<35man> wow. holy shit. did you end up doin it?
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[08:40] <GreenNight> voodoo mmm
[08:41] * GreenNight is going to invent a marriage simulator. It's a blowup doll that sits on the couch, takes your money, and slowly inflates larger and larger
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<Keeper> ooooh, another dead mouse
<Keeper> I think it was a radioactive mouse too, cos as soon as the mousetrap snapped, the TV reception died for a second
<Deke> keeper has mice?
<Keeper> not anymore 
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<Kazz> Are you coming on to me?
<Dregan> With a spelling change.
<Dregan> And perhaps without the 'to'.
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(CitizenC): I spilled my ashtray all over my computer earlier today.
(CitizenC): Son of a bitch.
(CitizenC): Took forever to clean up.
(CitizenC): At least I don't have to empty my ashtray now.
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<@Toilet> you suck
<Bundy> you swallow
<@Toilet> hell, you gargle
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<Cuban Atlas> See, Zeir, FD is smart..He ops himself the moment he enters
<FD> This way I can abuse the power faster
<Polo> That's the American way
<FD> Damn right
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<CreepingDeath> what was that other guy
<CreepingDeath> during WWII
<CreepingDeath> he was in charge of the concentration camps
<CreepingDeath> argh can't remember his name
<Malek> colonel klink?
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<@martini> my weed dealer, was drunk last night
<@martini> and she started feeling me up
<@rommel> lol
<@rommel> did you advance?
<@martini> i said "call me when you sober up"
<@rommel> aw, you weren't lookin for some butt that night?
<@martini> not at that very moment
<@martini> shit was crazy
<@martini> too many things going on at once
<@kvm> u were chewing gum then?
<@martini> har har
<@rommel> HAHAHAHA
<@rommel> owned.
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<FPT-[away]> crotch fires and you: the untold story.
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<keith_escalade> If you were a guy, I'd call you Richard Whiskey (Dick Liquor for short).
<Samantha> Shut the hell up
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